A Painted House

Archive for May 2013

My daughter,

Today is your due date!  And continuing the tradition started with your two older brothers, this is the first of many letters you will receive from me during your childhood years.  Over the next 24 months and then yearly, I’ll highlight your best qualities and shamelessly record your more embarrassing toddler moments so that someday when you’re twelve and I need a bigger weapon with which to club you into decent behavior, I’ll have an arsenal from which to draw.  I’d bank on being able to remember those moments without a written record, but as you’re the third child added to this family and likely not the last, it’s safe to say that in twelve years I’ll only have three functioning brain cells left.  So while these letters may seem like they are written for YOU, my children, we all know they are better described as Parental Insurance.

Hey missy, you know why I can write to you on your due date?  Because you’re not here yet.  If you were here I could laud you for your timely arrival, your beauty, and your exceedingly good nature……but I can’t.  Because you’re following faithfully in Casper Baby tradition and completely disregarding the nature of being “due”.  By the way, aren’t we all collectively glad that it’s not a Best By date?  It would be really unfortunate to wait all those extra days to snuggle your wee one just to have them smell like spoiled milk.  Regardless, it seems my campaign to persuade you that the first steps of mother-daughter bonding start with showing up on time for one’s own birth have failed.  We’re off to a rocky start, my girl.

So you don’t know this yet, but you have two older brothers.  Your Dad and I have born two beloved sons and are working on raising them to be the type of men who love and follow God and who will someday be capable of leading families to do the same.  They are delightful.  But you, dear girl, are a new experience for us.  The raising of a daughter in this house dominated by boys is a whole new challenge, one I’m not afraid to admit I find a little intimidating.  Because so much of shaping you into being the kind of young woman that follows and pleases our God and has an accurate view of herself and her identity as a daughter of the King, falls on my shoulders.  I’m your  built-in frame of reference for what it means to be a woman, a wife, a mother.  I’m eternally grateful that I have such examples as your Grandmothers to follow, women who have taught me to give and to serve and how to build a family of my own.  I can only hope that as I ask God to guide me and lead me to be your example, He will answer and someday you and I will be so much more than mother and daughter.  We’ll be like Grandma and myself…..made-for-each-other friends.

Baby girl, you have no idea how much you are already loved.  Several years ago, before your Dad and I were in a position to begin our family, my heart was ready for a baby even as our checkbook required that we wait.  And one night I had a dream, one of those that feels so real that you wake up wondering if it was a dream at all?  I dreamt that I was holding my own newborn baby; I could feel the warmth and the weight of the little body snuggled into me.  And that baby was most definitely a girl.  I could smell her soft hair and see those rosebud lips long after I woke.  And when your Dad and I were expecting our first child that dream came back to my mind again and again.  So when we found out that our baby would be your brother, James, I admit I had a hard time reconciling to two mental images.  It was only a dream but it felt so very real.  And then your brother Edison came along and having a baby boy didn’t feel so foreign because after all, we had a frame of reference for how wonderful it is to snuggle a new baby boy.  But now I wonder if just maybe that dream wasn’t as insignificant as I came to believe.  Maybe, my daughter, that was God planting the idea of you in my mind and my heart, to grow.  Maybe it was a promise from our timeless God that someday, years down the road, there would be a YOU in my future.  I can’t wait to meet you and finally have a small snippet of that dream realized.

Love,
Mama

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